Category Archives: LIfe Outside the Studio

All Hands on Deck Wedding

Thursday, May 16, 2013

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My wedding is just 16 days away and the whole thing is becoming very real all of a sudden. Maybe some of you who have gotten married know what I am talking about? Over night, the wedding day goes from being this abstract event far in the future to something that is actually happening very soon. Thankfully, I am feeling more excited than stressed about all of it. One of the amazing things about this day is that so many of our friends have been involved in making it happen. Our friend Elizabeth Clayton is helping us coordinate the entire event. Anna Dorfman designed the invitations and website. Bonnie Tsang is photographing the day. Diana Fayt is painting rocks for the tables. My cousin Robin is helping us to plan the ceremony and will be officiating. My sister is doing the flowers. And last weekend, nine of my friends came over to help make the decorations (which Grace Bonney and Victoria Smith will use to decorate the event space). How lucky are we to have such talented and generous friends?

Yes, very. I pinch myself every day.

We have decided to go with a neon pink, grey and white color theme, but we’ll also be including some pale pinks, silvers, browns and golds in the decor as well.

{These small “poufs” — as we’ve come to call them — will go on the backs of chairs tied with grey ribbon. We made 102 of them!}

{My friend Lauren Smith was the master wreath maker. Photo by Lorena Siminovich}

{Toothpicks and stickers make the best cupcake toppers! Photo by Lisa Solomon}

{Can you spot Wilfredo? Photo by Rena Tom}

{Our dining room is currently filled with tissue paper goodies. Photo by Clay Walsh}

{Our recycle bin looked pretty when we were finished. Photo by Rena Tom}

Happy Thursday.

Also posted in The 2013 Wedding |

On Giving Fear a Bear Hug

Thursday, May 9, 2013

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As you may know if you read this blog regularly: I reached a point recently in which I realized I had taken on way too much in my life. I also decided to use this experience as a catalyst for change. You can read the post I wrote about all of that here. It’s been almost a month since I wrote that blog post. For context, let me also say that the period during which that blog post was written I had a small but intense nervous breakdown — a breakdown in which I fantasized every day about leaving my life and my work obligations and running away to Hawaii.

I am happy to report I am making progress and no longer having escape fantasies (details to follow shortly).

I wrote another post recently about Owning All of It, and in that piece I was mostly talking about the experience of writing a book (which I am doing for the first time ever), and earlier in February I was thinking a lot about Embracing All of It, which is sort of the same thing. The idea is that life is always filled with some difficulty — no matter how hard we try to avoid and escape it. Sometimes our choices create the difficulty, sure (and we must work to make choices that support our well being) but sometimes it’s just stuff that happens in our lives that we cannot control. The idea is to not fight or try to escape the hard stuff (whether we’ve chosen it or not), but rather to give all of it a big bear hug. I am not a Buddhist, but I love to read Buddhist teachings because I think they offer a lot of wisdom in this regard: don’t try to run away from your fear, but get to know it intimately. Use it as your teacher. Let your difficulties make you more human and compassionate. Easier said than done, but ultimately, if you get to know your most fraught emotions, they will no longer control you. And you will also become a more loving person toward others.

I am working on getting to know my fears: fears about having too much work, fears about not having enough work, fears about who I am, my identity, my life, my future. Just sitting with stuff, not necessarily trying to fix it. Every day that I do this I feel slightly more relaxed and my fears are having less and less power. But I also realize that getting to know my fears is a lifelong practice — meditation and yoga help, as do reading and writing, taking walks, and breaks and time to relax. I have been doing all of those things in spades in the last month since my breakdown. But I also realize I can’t just do all of those things now. I need to do all of those things as long as I am alive. I am naturally wired to worry. I have been a chronic worrier since I was six. This is my life’s work.

Like everyone, I have a yearning to be happy. I have a lot of things in my life that I thought would make me happy: a gorgeous and loving partner, ample work with great clients, a lovely home. All of those things do bring me joy; but ultimately happiness comes from not being blown by every wind, from being at peace, from not giving in to fear, and from relaxing in the present moment, whatever it is.

Over the last month since I had my breakdown and wrote about it, I have gotten countless emails from people who have gone through a similar experience or are going through one right now. This reminds me that we are never alone. We think we are alone and that our experience separates us. But, in fact, we all experience this to one degree or another. Thank you to everyone who has written to me. I have not had time to respond to everyone, but your emails and thoughts are heartfelt.

Have a great Thursday.

Posted in LIfe Outside the Studio |

My Studio Mate :: Jamie Vasta

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

{Jamie and one of her glittered skulls; all photos by Klea McKenna for IN THE MAKE}

Most of you know that recently I moved my home to Oakland, and with it, my studio. I moved into a warehouse space in East Oakland with my dear friend, artist Jamie Vasta. Jamie and I have a long history as both friends and studio mates. We met seven years ago in 2006 when we both began to sublet studios that were right next to each other in the same building in the Dogpatch neighborhood in San Francisco. We instantly liked each other and became fast friends and confidants. In 2008 when our sublets expired, we moved together to the studio that I kept until earlier this year. Eventually Jamie moved out of that studio (when she moved to Oakland a few years ago) and I took that space over as my own. Jamie moved into the space in Oakland that I recently moved into. We keep coming back to working close together, and I could not be happier! Jamie is a treasure (more on that below). Our current space a huge converted light-filled warehouse divided into three sections: Jamie has one, I have the second and two other artists share the third space.

I’ve been wanting to share with you some of Jamie’s work and I recently came across a fantastic interview with her and some stunning images of Jamie & her work taken by Klea McKenna for the artist studio project IN THE MAKE. I’d heard of IN THE MAKE before, as they had featured another close friend, Wendy MacNaughton; I was particularly impressed with how they captured Jamie’s work, her process and her materials. You see, Jamie’s materials and process are not typical! She “paints” in glitter!

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Jamie got her BFA from the School of the Museum of Fine Art Boston and her MFA from California College of the Arts. Early on in her schooling, she took to glitter as her medium and has never wavered since, despite some protestation within her academic environments. Her persistence in using glitter has worked well for her. In 2006, shortly after finishing her MFA, she signed with the prestigious Patricia Sweetow Gallery in San Francisco where she has had two major solo shows. Jamie’s work is also included in the permanent collection at the Berkeley Art Museum.

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It’s hard to describe the extent to which Jamie’s work, even in the last seven years I have known her, has evolved and the extent to which her technique with glitter has become more refined. She has taken her work to levels of intricacy I never would have thought possible. Jamie’s attention to detail is awe inspiring for me, as is her openness to trying to new things. In her interview with IN THE MAKE she notes, “I’m very persistent, and a bit of a plodder- I’ll keep working with the same technique, trying to push and refine what I can do with it, but the big leaps in my process have usually come after several years of people suggesting that I try something- exposing the wood panel, for instance, or mixing my own neutral tones. Finally I give in and try it, and pow! It changes everything.”

Jamie typically works in very distinct, mostly dark and very dramatic themes, and her approach is fascinating. Her entire IN THE MAKE interview is wonderful. You can read it here.

{Detail from Sirens 3, an enormous work by Jamie for her 20o9 show at the San Francisco Arts Commission Gallery}

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Working next to Jamie again is a dream come true. Not only do I get to see the work that she makes as she’s making it, but I also get to hang out with her. Jamie is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I know. She’s also incredibly smart. When I am painting, I can always turn to her for feedback on what I should do to fix any problems in my work, and her advice is always so precise. I love hearing her perspective on whatever I’m grappling with on a particular day (personally, creatively or otherwise). I am so happy to be sharing a space with her again.

{One of my favorite paintings by Jamie, entitled Fillide, 1596}

The gorgeous photos in this post of Jamie and her studio would not be possible without generous permission from IN THE MAKE. IN THE MAKE is a collaboration between photographer Klea McKenna and writer Nikki Grattan, who document the studios and practices of west coast artists. About their project: “Through visiting artists in their studios we learn about each artist’s space, process, influences, and the behind-the-scenes elements that are often unseen in a gallery or museum setting. We document these visits with the hope of revealing both the richness and the daily realities of creative work. Our aim is to raise interest in art practice, while simultaneously debunking the romantic myth of the artist. We recognize that creative work is real work, done by real, passionate people in all sorts of different spaces. We are not art critics, but rather deeply curious observers; looking for the ways that each artist’s aesthetic pervades their environment and reveals their perspective.”

After documenting Bay Area (and some LA) artists for 2 years Klea and Nikki are now currently on an epic roadtrip/tour called Western Edge, from Tijuana to Vancouver, all the way up the west coast, during which they are visiting 40 contemporary artists. They will be publishing those visits over the coming year. While they are on their trip they are also posting Fieldnotes about their experience. You can check out this wonderful project in its entirety here, and view the list of artists they’ve featured here.

Happy Tuesday!

Also posted in Inspiration |

Chicago :: Flashback 2006

Friday, April 26, 2013

{A photo I took at an El stop on my trip in 2006}

I leave this morning for Chicago. I’m speaking at Moxie, a conference for creative professionals that happens tomorrow. I started thinking a lot in the last few days about the last time I visited Chicago. That was in 2006, and I went to compete in the Gay Games. The Gay Games (formerly known as the “Gay Olympics”) is a sporting and cultural event that happens every four years (just like the Olympics). In the early 1980s, gay and lesbian athletes were a hidden and marginalized community (inside an even larger hidden and marginalized population of people). That began to change when the Games were founded in 1982. Now the Gay Games is one of the largest sporting events in the world! In 2006 the Games were held in Chicago, and I was lucky enough to go and compete in swimming. I had been swimming competatively almost my whole life, minus college. I am a strong swimmer for sure, but not college athletics strong. That kind of dedication was not something I could fathom as an 18 year old.

{Standing in the registration hall for the Gay Games VII}

I came back to swimming when I was 27 years old. I joined a Masters team in San Francisco that is mostly gay, but open to all swimmers. The event in Chicago was my probably my 30th masters competition, but my second Gay Games — I’d also competed in the Games in 1998 in Amsterdam. The 2006 swimming events were held at the University of Chicago Aquatics Center, and every day my teammates and I caught a bus from the The Magnificent Mile get to the pool. The University’s aquatics center is vast and beautiful. I was also a team coach, so I went nearly every day to the pool whether I was competing or not. I happen to love being around swimming pools; the smell of chlorinated water makes me giddy.

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On the eve of the start of the Games, there was an enormous opening ceremonies celebration at Wrigley Field. As my teammates and I walked toward the stadium, along with thousands of athletes from all over the world, there were anti-gay protesters all around us. It was the first time in my life I’d ever encountered anything like this in person.

{My teammate Dave standing next to the protesters so I could snap a photograph}

Of course, we all laughed (probably out of nervousness) and tried to make light of it. The weirdness of it all was eclipsed by the enthusiasm of the crowd as we entered the stadium. Thousands of people came to watch the opening ceremonies and cheer on the athletes. I still get chills just thinking about it, even this many years later.

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Over the next several days, I competed in seven swimming events, both individual and relays. Freestyle was my stroke — I swam everything from the 50 meters to the 1500, and most things in between. That week, I won six gold medals and one silver medal in my age group. It was, needless to say, one of the most exciting weeks of my life. My team did really well overall at the Games too, and we were all pretty excited.

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All of this happened seven years ago, and my life was so different then. I was still working a full time job. I hadn’t yet adopted Wilfredo or met Clay. My art career had barely started. Swimming, next to my career in education, was the most significant part of my life. The following year, I left my team and gave up swimming competitively when I decided to dedicate more of my time and energy toward my artwork. I was also burned out after 11 years of practicing several times a week with my team, coaching and traveling to compete. I still swim several times a week now, but not on a team and far less seriously. Looking back at these photographs makes me remember what an amazing and huge part of my life competitive swimming was: how much I loved my teammates (many of whom are still good friends today) and what a rich experience it was to be part of a swim team founded by & for gay and lesbian athletes.

When I look back at stuff like this, I realize I never could have imagined that my life would have changed in the ways that it has, for better or for worse (I was actually pretty happy back then; my life was just different). It makes me realize that while we can influence a great deal of our future by our choices and intentions, so much of it is just chance. Who knows where we will all be in another seven years.

Have a great weekend, friends.

Also posted in From the Vault |

It Gets Better, A Fundraiser

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

{Mia holding the compilation of illustrated quotes she made with her friend Devyn}

My 13-year-old niece Mia is a special kid. She’s warm-hearted and compassionate, conscientious and engaged. Last year I wrote about what it’s like to be an aunt to her here. If you’ve been reading this blog for long you may remember that Mia, who lives in Portland, came to stay with Clay and me this past summer to attend CCA’s art program for middle school students. She’s coming again this summer to live with us and go back to that program. We are so excited.

Mia is always up to something amazing, and her latest project is a fundraiser for It Gets Better, the project that communicates through video to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth around the world that life gets better. The project also creates and inspires changes needed to make it better for gay teens. You may remember last year my partner Clay produced and appeared in an It Gets Better Video for CCA, where she works. Middle school students are often bullied for being gay or even appearing gay, leading them to feel like they have nowhere to turn. Mia and her friend Devyn were touched by the project and wanted to support kids their age around the world who were being bullied. They decided to make a book of illustrated quotes from It Gets Better videos to sell to raise funds for itgetsbetter.org. In their own words:

“We created this booklet to benefit the It Gets Better Project (itgetsbetter.org) because we want to support gay teens. Gay teens are five times more likely to commit suicide, and that is something we need to stop. The money raised from the sales of this booklet will go towards the It Gets Better Project, an organization fully devoted to helping LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer) youth feel better about themselves, and to stop the bullying.”

I’m so happy to announce that the book is now for sale. You might recognize my lettering on the cover, and that’s because they asked me to illustrate it. I was so happy to contribute to this great project.

The books are $5.00 each. Every page is illustrated by Mia and Devyn (who are both amazing artists).

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Get one before they sell out, and support this fantastic project. Thank you, Mia and Devyn!

Posted in LIfe Outside the Studio |

On Getting (and Using) Another Chance

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

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Last week, you may recall, I stopped blogging for a few days. My life has become chaotic recently, and I needed to let a few things go temporarily. To compound the overwhelm, I was feeling like a failure. Last January, after two years of a packed work schedule, I decided that 2013 was going to be different — that I would take less work, be less busy and just do less in my life in an effort to enjoy myself more. You can read the post I wrote about that decision here. I had a great opportunity in early January to make that happen. At the time, I was working on only a few projects and I was set up to have a year of balance. As a freelancer I am lucky: I get to decide what work I take and what work I decline. No one forces me to take a job when I don’t have time in my schedule. And that’s a great thing.

But something happened. Sometime in mid-January, a whole bunch of work, including two book offers and six illustration jobs, landed in my inbox. And I said yes to all of them, in a flash, without much thinking. Two of the books are huge endeavors. One because I’m writing it (and not illustrating it) and another because it includes 900 illustrations (which I had 4 months to complete). Last week, things came to a head and the impact of my workload (and being way out of my comfort zone) made me realize I had made a huge mistake. I had done everything I said I wouldn’t do. I had taken on too much, was busy and overwhelmed and miserable.

A former coworker calls those moments when you realize you have made really bad decisions “come to Jesus” moments. I am not religious, so for me this is was not literally a “come to Jesus” moment. But figuratively it was. Now is the time I have to step back and face the facts. I have to attempt to learn from the impact of my decisions. The impact was that I was working 11-12 hour days, 6 days a week to meet all of my freelance work obligations. All the while, planning a wedding and trying to be a good partner to Clay. The impact was insomnia, not eating well, bad anxiety, exhaustion.

There was a time when I asked the universe for “a lot of work.” I thought that’s what I wanted. When you are starting out as a freelancer and you have very little work and struggle to pay the bills, often times “a lot of work” is the goal. And, on top of that, you want great jobs and clients. Over time, I got all of that: a lot of work and amazing clients.

So what happened? I think the main problem is that I am still learning how to say no to exciting opportunities in service of a better quality of life. I want to do it all. Last week I attended the TYPO Design Conference in San Francisco. Designer Satsuki Shibuya gave a great talk on this very topic. A bout of frightening illness caused her to totally re-evaluate her work/life balance. She reminded us simply that we cannot do it all. Humans are not bionic. And, that, in fact, our lives (and our work) will be better if we take on less. DUH, I thought. It’s such a simple concept, so why is it so hard for so many of us to grasp? Do I live in fear that if I say no, I’ll never have a great opportunity again?

Which brings me back to January. I can’t rewind the clock. I made commitments to clients that I need to fulfill. And I need to do my best work for all of them. So, for now, I’m still working a lot. And I’m still pretty tired. But what I do get is another chance. I can decide never to let this happen again. I can decide to start over once this hectic period ends in June.

I love what I do. I love being an illustrator and I love working hard at it. I love my clients, and the vast majority of the work I’ve had in the last three years has been incredibly exciting and fulfilling. I want to keep doing exciting work for great clients. But I’ve realized I’m not going to love my work anymore unless I also have time for breaks from it — to hang out with friends and my partner, gather new inspiration, make personal work, play, explore, be adventurous.

Thank goodness for second (or third or fourth) chances. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

Also posted in Hand Lettering |

Stepping Back

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

{A little spot in my new studio}

My life has been a whirlwind of activity: planning a wedding, writing a book with strict chapter deadlines, illustrating another book of 900 drawings, working on a third book (that one is much further along), and other illustration jobs, speaking engagements and life commitments. I have like I said I wouldn’t, taken on too much. I have failed, utterly failed, at not being busy.

I have always been one to push the envelope, and I have certainly pushed it this time. When will I learn? I am not sure. This could get really boring.

For the rest of this week I am going to take a break from this blog, mostly because my time is so limited. Thank you to those of you who visit here daily. This place is one of my favorite in the world, like a retreat from everything else. I like being able to share it with so many people, and I am grateful that you come to share it with me. I’ll be back Monday with my regular litany of posts.

See you then, friends.

Posted in LIfe Outside the Studio |

My Desk on Refinery29!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

{Photos by Rachelle Manning}

Little known fact: I have a home office in addition to my studio, and today it’s featured on Refinery 29, along with 5 other desks of Bay Area creative women.

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This is, of course, the desk I set up in the office in my new home in Oakland, where I moved from San Francisco in February. My new house, as you can see, has great light. I love being able to look out over the backyard when I’m working. You can read an interview with me about the space here.

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I love arranging spaces. Above are some of my favorite books and trinkets on my desk.

Thank you to Angela at Refinery29 for including me, and Rachelle for taking great photos. They were so nice to work with.

Happy almost-Friday!

Also posted in Press |

On Owning All of It

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

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Last night I went to hear Cheryl Strayed speak. For those of you who don’t know Cheryl Strayed, she wrote the National Best Seller Wild and last year released Tiny Beautiful Things. Ever since reading Wild (and I am currently reading Tiny Beautiful Things), I have fallen in love with her, not just as a writer and story teller, but as someone who, because of her life experiences, is an incredibly authentic, empathetic, wise woman. She is also, by the way, a fantastic and charming public speaker.

Last month, I signed a book deal with Chronicle Books. My book is due to be released in 2014. This book is different from the others I’ve worked on, and that’s because I’m writing it, not illustrating it. In the end, there will be 30,000 words in my book. Aside from this blog, on which I post five days a week, I have never written much in my life. So I have become increasingly interested in knowing as much as I can about the writing process. I am devouring essays and podcasts by writers about writing. I think it might be akin to someone who realizes they are gay, and then reads as much as they can about the experience of other gay people. I am a writer now, and, in order to understand my own experience, I want to know what the process of writing feels like to other people.

Last night someone in the audience asked Cheryl Strayed what the editing part of the writing process was like for her, and how did she decides what to fight to keep in her books and what to let go of. Her answer was very comforting to me. She said, you know, when you write a book, you hand it to your editor (sometimes more than one), chapter by chapter, and she gives you her opinion about what should stay or go and what should change (and that lots can change in that process from the original manuscript). She said that sometimes you have to fight for the things that you want to keep in your book, but that you also have to balance that with trusting another person’s opinion about your story and what might make it better. And, she said, most poignantly, this is no different from being in a relationship or parenting or life in general. Sometimes you have to listen to yourself and fight for what you want, and sometimes you have to let go and trust other people to decide what is best.

I just started writing my book, and have barely finished the introduction and the first chapter. Already there are times when I feel totally cracked open by the editing process. I am a humble writer. I know I have so much to learn. And so I welcome the critique and feedback of my editors (I have two), because I know in the end it will make my book better (and they have been, by the way, amazing and generous with me so far). And yet, it still feels hard and overwhelming to work on something for hours and hours, only to have it changed and altered and critiqued. For some reason, it feels harder than when I go through rounds of changes with my illustrations for clients. Maybe my writing is more personal to me than my art? Not sure.

Another thing I learned from Cheryl Strayed last night is that the pain of editing a book is necessary, just like the pain of editing your life (your relationships, your work) is necessary. I am learning that owning the entire experience of my life, even the really hard and shameful parts, is critical, not just to being a good writer, but also to being a good human. And I am always aspiring to be a better human, even if I am occasionally a shitty writer.

On that note, I’m off to finish chapter one.

Happy Wednesday.

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Also posted in Hand Lettering |

Abstracted

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

{My first abstract paintings, hung in my living room. The neon paint is more neon-y in real life.}

You may remember this post back in January in which I discussed “changing things up” and making abstract paintings (as opposed to my usual literal drawings and paintings). Shortly after I wrote that post, I indeed started painting a pair of two abstracts on 24×24 inch panels that would go side by side.

And then, as happens sometimes, life hit me like a hurricane. I moved, got 1000 illustration jobs and two new book deals, and those two paintings got thrown to the wayside.

That is, until this past Sunday. In an attempt to stay connected to the a more pure, not-for-work-or-money-art-making process (since I spend so much of my time illustrating for clients), I am trying to spend some time in my studio every week (and it usually ends up being on the weekend) just playing around. And this past weekend I did just that, and I worked for several more hours on the pair.

They each have about 20 layers of paint on them and I kept adding more till I got them just how I wanted them. And now they are hanging in my new living room. Making them was pure frolic (and so different than my regular process) and I cannot wait to make another.

Happy Tuesday.

Also posted in Paintings |

The Sonoma Coast

Friday, March 29, 2013

{Looking out the window of our rental onto Bodega Bay}

Part of the beauty of living in the Bay Area of California is that within a few hours in most any direction is a some unique location filled with natural wonders and pristine landscape. Last weekend, Clay and I ventured to the Sonoma Coast for the weekend. We stayed in Bodega Bay (right near the town of Bodega, where Hitchcock’s The Birds takes place & was filmed), and visited the Bodega Head, Freestone (home of the famous and crazy delicious bakery Wild Flour) and Occidental.

{Bodega Head, along the Sonoma Coast Beach, one of the most beautiful stretches of coastline I have ever visited.}

{Fantastic old signage in the town of Bodega}

{We are huge Hitchcock fans so it’s always a treat to visit St. Teresa’s Church in Bodega to see this site from The Birds, along with the schoolhouse, which sits behind it, below)

{The old schoolhouse site from Hitchcock’s The Birds}

{Inside the Bodega General Store, Hitchcock memorabilia all over the walls}

{More from Bodega Head. California’s rocky coastline never fails to take my breath away. What other beach in California has all five star reviews on Yelp?}

{Clay grabbing her own captures of the breathtaking views}

{Pastoral scene in Freestone.}

{I’ve always loved the pink and white stripes of Patrick’s!}

{Dusk on the beach off Highway 1 north of Bodega Bay. The weather last weekend was spectacular.}

We’re launching into another weekend here, and I hope you all have a wonderful one. I’ll be back Monday with the next Recontructionist.

Also posted in Travel & Adventure |

Why DOMA Matters

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

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I may be preaching to the choir here. But in case I’m not, in case I have any readers out there who are opposed to allowing gay people to marry, or even on the fence about it, I hope you’ll listen.

You all know I’m gay. If you don’t, you haven’t been reading very carefully here. Anyhow, you also know I’m a regular person with regular hopes and fears and dreams for my future. I write about those hopes and dreams and fears a lot on this blog. Some other things about me you may or may not know: I am 45 years old. I get up every day at 6:30 am and I work until 6:00. Some days I go back to work after dinner. I take a break on most days to swim laps at lunch. My partner’s name is Clay. We’ve been together for almost five years. She gets up at 6 am and works till 5. Sometimes she works after dinner too. I come from a family of five. My parents have been married for almost 50 years. I have an older brother and a younger sister. I am an aunt to three beautiful kids. We all love each other a lot. Before I became a full time artist, I worked in education. I taught elementary school for seven years and then worked for two different non profit organizations that served high poverty public schools. I have a dog and two cats. I love animals. I live in a small house with a big backyard. I shouldn’t eat gluten because it makes me feel terrible, but I love bread so I eat it anyway. Clay and I drive a 2006 Scion. I don’t keep up with the latest music. I spend too much time on Facebook. I want to travel the world. Every Sunday Clay and I plan our meals, make a list and go to the grocery store. That is generally my favorite activity of the week.

Being gay is all I’ve known since as long as I can remember, even when I dated guys in high school and college. Being gay is as regular to me as being straight is to other people. It’s not something I chose, but it’s also not something I would change. I wouldn’t change it because I cannot imagine anything else, or loving another gender. It’s not how I’m wired. I have memories of knowing I was gay as early as 13. I came out when I was 23. That 10 year period was tough. But now, most days, I don’t think about being gay. I just am.

In February of 2012, my partner Clay proposed to me. She took me away for the weekend to the wine country and asked me to marry her. She gave me a ring. It was amazing and romantic. I wrote about it here. We will be married June 1.

Sharing my regular life with Clay is the single greatest joy of my life. I want to be with her forever. I use the word “regular” here because I think it’s important. Gay people are just regular people. I know, news flash!!! Some gay people are exceptional or eccentric or weird, just like some straight people are. But mostly we are just regular. We are also, like the rest of humanity, mostly kind-hearted and well-intentioned. We work, take care of our families, and contribute to our communities. We have the same hopes and dreams and food allergies as everyone else.

DOMA matters because it discriminates against regular people. People like you. People like me. Not criminals, just regular people. The religious right will try to tell you we are not regular people. But we are. It’s a fact. If you knew more than 1 or 2 of us, you would know that already.

I am crossing my fingers tightly that the Supreme Court does the right thing. Not just for me, but for couples who have been waiting for 20 years to legally marry, for future gay children, for kids of gay couples, for kids in general, for all hopers and dreamers, for humanity.

On that note, I must go get my laundry out of the dryer.

Also posted in The 2013 Wedding |

French Twist

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

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Remember back in September when I said that travel is now a priority in my life? That there is no way I can not travel, like there is no way I could not make art? Well, the next adventure is just around the corner. On June 30, Clay and I leave for a two week trip to Paris. I have visited Paris three times, but the last time was in 1998. Even more special? Clay has never been to Paris! I love the idea of seeing this magical place through her eyes. This will be our first trip out of the country together. So we are, needless to say, feeling incredibly giddy.

What makes this trip different than my last adventure is that we will stay in one city for two weeks to relax and explore at a more leisurely pace (not that Paris isn’t huge with 10,000 things to see). Also, it will be our honeymoon (we are getting married June 1). We are staying in the apartment of an acquaintance of Clay’s who happens to be a famous American writer (très romantique!) right in the 6th arrondissement near the Luxembourg Gardens. The generosity of this gentleman is allowing us to stay for longer than we might be able to otherwise, and we are feeling very spoiled.

I am pretty familiar with all of the museums and better known historic and cultural sites. But what I am looking for in particular are recommendations for vegetarian restaurants (or those that cater to vegetarians), cool art galleries, and special boutiques (mostly unique, well-curated gift or housewares shops, vintage shops, special not-too-expensive but awesome clothing shops). If you have any ideas for places in these categories that we should check out and have been there recently (and feel inspired to write me an email), I’d love to hear from you (contact link above).

I am already beginning also to think about where I’d like to travel in 2014. I mustn’t get ahead of myself, but Morocco, Istanbul and Portugal are all on my mind. That’s another blog post, however.

Happy Wednesday.

Also posted in The 2013 Wedding, Travel & Adventure |

Downward Dog

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

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Two weeks ago I started a beginning yoga program. Those of you who know me well might be thinking, “WHHHHHAAATT???” But, yes, it’s true. I did.

So here’s the story: I had to quiet my mind, and there is no way in hell (at least not yet) I’d be able to meditate. So I started with what they say is the preparation for meditation: yoga.

I’ve always been a yoga nay-sayer. Too touchy-feely (I think the current term is “woo woo”). Too slow moving. Not aerobic enough. Confusing. Too many words I don’t understand. Too many sequences I can’t remember.

But then I got desperate. I am working really hard on living in harmony with life’s challenges, and so many people in my life (people I trust) swear by yoga as a calming, centering influence — a way to put the stuff we stress out about in perspective. So when we moved to Oakland a month ago, I started looking to see if there were yoga studios in my neighborhood. And sure enough, there are. And I walked into one three weeks ago and asked if they had a beginners program. The woman at the front desk told me they just started one, and the first class was Tuesday. I took this as a sign.

So the following Tuesday I went. My teacher’s name is Avenelle, and from the minute I met her, I loved her. So that helped. She is a great teacher and explains everything (basic hatha poses and sequences and what they represent). She is so gentle and kind. And she has a great sense of humor. The class is tiny. I’m with other beginners and nay-sayers. And I don’t feel confused or lost.

And, so yah, I actually like it. Not only do I like it, but it seems to be working. I am learning not to hold my breath. And I am feeling more relaxed. I am worrying less about stuff over which I have no control. And I am sleeping better.

I think in a couple weeks I’ll be ready to graduate out of the beginner program to a regular yoga class, which I am a little nervous about (it’s like wanting to stay in kindergarten forever). But I’m also sort of excited. I found something that is helping to make me feel more grounded and less anxious. I have a long way to go (both in yoga and in developing a stronger sense of equanimity in my life in general), but I am glad to have taken this leap. It’s reminding me that I am often so judgmental about things I really know nothing about. And that keeping an open mind can change everything.

Happy Wednesday.

Also posted in Hand Lettering |

Chasing Ice

Thursday, March 7, 2013

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As many of you know, I am mildly obsessed with glaciers and icebergs. I’ve written about them here and here. I’ve been painting and drawing them for several years. This past year, I even visited the Jökulsárlón Glacial Lagoon in Iceland, which I wrote about here. So I was really excited when I found out last year that a new film was being made about glaciers featuring pioneering environmental photographer and global warming activist James Balog and his work to capture them on film. That film, Chasing Ice, premiered last year and is on a run around independent theaters right now. I had the privilege of seeing it last night in San Francisco.

Sure, the film is awe-inspiringly beautiful (a combination of the filmmakers’ shots and Balog’s photography grace the screen for 75 minutes). To me, glaciers and icebergs are some of the most stunning sights in the world (hence my obsession with them). But the film is also heart-breaking. With a team of young engineers and assistants, Balog sets out to conduct the The Extreme Ice Survey — deploying time-lapse cameras across the brutal Arctic (from Alaska to Greenland to Iceland) to capture a multi-year record of some of the world’s glaciers. And what makes the film sad are the results: Balog’s stunning time-lapse videos compress years into seconds and what were at one time enormous glaciers (which previously had stood at relatively the same size for thousands of years) recede (break apart and melt) at record speed over the course of a few years. Balog argues that most of this now-quick recession is a result of climate change, which he describes as simply as “changes in the air.”

What makes this film important and inspiring are two things: 1) the power of the individual to shine enormous light on an urgent global issue. Sure, Balog deployed a team and had tremendous support. But without him, this project never would have happened 2) the fact that through Balog’s photography we can see, with our own eyes, undeniable evidence of what is happening in the arctic. It’s no longer just a story we hear. It’s real. What the film doesn’t adequately explore is the impact of these changes in the arctic on the rest of the planet (though their website has some great information). I suppose that is another film.

As I mentioned, Chasing Ice is playing around the world in the next few weeks. You can see the current schedule here. You can watch the trailer here.

Also posted in Inspiration, Travel & Adventure |

Category Archives: LIfe Outside the Studio

All Hands on Deck Wedding

On Giving Fear a Bear Hug

My Studio Mate :: Jamie Vasta

Chicago :: Flashback 2006

It Gets Better, A Fundraiser

On Getting (and Using) Another Chance

Stepping Back

My Desk on Refinery29!

On Owning All of It

Abstracted

The Sonoma Coast

Why DOMA Matters

French Twist

Downward Dog

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